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These helpers need help

“My three-year-old daughter sprinkled every surface in the lounge and dining room with Ajax,” says Josephine Hill of Blackwall. “It was surreal and looked like it had snowed inside. And of course, you couldn’t be cross as she thought she was helping (C8) clean.” “I was helpful too,” claims Alison Brooks of Hope Island (Qld). “I noticed that fatty things were shiny, so I used the contents of my mother’s fat tin (who else had one of those?) to polish the kitchen floor. I wasn’t in trouble, but it was the only time in my childhood I saw the kitchen door closed – and for quite a while.” Kit Devine of Bronte wonders if Coral Button (C8) went on to study law: “Slovenly, Slipshod, Slapdash and Slothful sounds like a legal firm from a Dickens novel.” “To the astonishment of the ghost of my long-suffering Latin teacher, Miss Frisby of Oxford High School, I offer this translation of Coral Button’s report. Coralia Bullae: sordida, neglegens, praeceps atque ignava est.” We thank Susan Bradley of Eltham (Vic). Regarding the handlebar hierarchy (C8), Geoff Carey of Pagewood finds himself in the supporting caste: “When handlebars were adjusted up from racing position it put the brake handle lever in awkward position. It was the rich kids who had additional levers inside the handle. Well, that was my observation as I was on an even lower rung down with a back-pedal brake.” Don’t worry Geoff, those rich kids would’ve been secretly envious of your back-pedal skids.

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